Beyond Barriers . . .: Wanna Laugh? ;)

If you wanna laugh, then read on...

Photo Credit: http://themommyguide.com/

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron."

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!' "

A woman was six months pregnant, her three year old daughter came into the room when she was getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mummy, you are getting fat!"

The woman replied, "Yes honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy."

She replied, "I know, but what's growing in your bum?"

A little boy walks up to his father and says "Papa, I need fifty dollars." The father says, "Forty dollars?! I don't have thirty dollars! What do you need twenty dollars for? Here's ten dollars." In the end, he hands the boy a 'five' dollar note and says, "Split it with your brothers."
"And don't forget to bring back the change."

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but my mother says I'm not."

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, both were extremely mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in the town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?". They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?". Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?". The boy screamed and bolted from the room.

He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?".

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in big trouble this time! God is missing and they think we did it!".

A woman invited some people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

"Would you like to say the blessing?" she said.

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the woman answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?".

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later. He shouts, "Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a glass of water?"