Beyond Barriers . . .

24 December, 2013

Wish you a Merry, Merry Christmas!! :)

Here's the happy time of the year, with Christmas and New Year ready to embrace us!! Along with warm greetings and big hugs from all our near and dear ones, it's time to have a few good laughs as well!! ;)

Why are male Christmas presents always a surprise?

Female wrapping: Measure exact amount of paper. Cut sellotape pieces to required size and leave near at hand. Wrap one side of present in tight paper, stick with sellotape. Roll present onto other side and make sure sides are flat, stick. Fold down ends of paper into perfect triangular shapes, stick each point down. Put label on perfectly. (actual shape of present clearly visible)

Male wrapping: Roll out paper. Place present in centre of metre square paper. Pick up two side of paper. Look for sellotape roll. Place two side of paper together down one side of present, nearly tight. Place one foot on present while using both hand and teeth to get beginning of sellotape. Unfurl 10 inch piece of tape, bite off, Stick side of paper to itself and present. Take two ends of present, now in paper tube. Placing one open end on the ground, sit on other end until there is no more give. Unfurl foot long piece of sellotape, bite in half. Stick crumpled mass of paper to itself. Turn over, stick other crumpled mass of paper to itself. Stand back and watch for five seconds to make sure paper doesn't open again. Get marker and write name on paper. (totally unidentifiable shape)

Well, the presents I wrap are always a surprise, so you can imagine me doing all that is said in the above paragraph!! lol ;)

Now we know how Rudolf's nose got RED ;)
(Click on the images to view as slideshow)

An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son who lives in New York. He says, "Son, I've to tell you that your mum and I are getting a divorce"

"Dad, what are you talking about, divorce after 45 years of marriage?" the son yells.

"Call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!".

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone.

The old man hangs up his phone, turns to his wife, naughtily winks at her and says, "Okay darling, it's all set. They're both coming home for Christmas and paying their own air-fare."

Oh that sure hurts lol ;)

But, all he did was sneeze! ;)

Irish Interview

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the job to the Norwegian."

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job."

Manager: "We've made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question you guys got wrong."

Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?"

Manager: "Simple, on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote his answer as, 'I don't know'.

And your put down, 'Neither do I'.

Poor Santa!!

So, only women would be able to do it? lol
Photo Source: irelandcalling.ie

Cute!

That's my sister!! lol

I'm in stage 1 lol ;)

Santa in trouble!! :)

lol

ha ha...

Cute

Image Source: Pusheen.com

Yes, looks like the cat was involved too! ;)

Reindeer are definitely better choice!! ;)

Santa had his stomach full! HO HO HO ;)

Merry Christmas

Tomorrow I am joining an English family here in Oxford for the traditional English Christmas dinner at their home, they are close friends and I was with them last Christmas too. So, I've just finished wrapping the presents for them - got them lovely china-ware dining set and I'm sure they gonna love it and it'll be a great addition to their kitchen collection :)

I am excitedly looking forward to do the Christmas prayer with them and then will have a great time with all of the family, will sing some songs too and most importantly I'm curious to know what presents I'm gonna get this year ;)

Faith makes all things possible,
Hope makes all things work,
Love makes all things beautiful,
May you have all the three for this Christmas.

Wishing a very Merry Christmas all of you, here's a big bear hug from me (((((hugs))))) :)

And finally, here is my message to Santa Claus,

07 December, 2013

Wanna Laugh? ;)

If you wanna laugh, then read on...

Photo Credit: http://themommyguide.com/

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron."

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!' "

A woman was six months pregnant, her three year old daughter came into the room when she was getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mummy, you are getting fat!"

The woman replied, "Yes honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy."

She replied, "I know, but what's growing in your bum?"

A little boy walks up to his father and says "Papa, I need fifty dollars." The father says, "Forty dollars?! I don't have thirty dollars! What do you need twenty dollars for? Here's ten dollars." In the end, he hands the boy a 'five' dollar note and says, "Split it with your brothers."
"And don't forget to bring back the change."

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but my mother says I'm not."

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, both were extremely mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in the town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?". They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?". Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?". The boy screamed and bolted from the room.

He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?".

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in big trouble this time! God is missing and they think we did it!".

A woman invited some people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

"Would you like to say the blessing?" she said.

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the woman answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?".

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later. He shouts, "Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a glass of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: He shouts again, "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a glass of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!"

Five more minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to smack me, can you bring a glass of water?"

If any of the jokes gave you a laugh, let me know which one, in the comments column! :)

Now for some 'Seasonal' humour ;)

Click on the image to view as Slideshow

Happy Sunday!! :)

Cheers!! :)

03 December, 2013

Romantic Randoms :)

Had a delicious dinner tonight, my cooking skills are improving day by day, who knows I might become a chef someday lol ;)

Here are some of my randomly favourite romantic words and quotes on love :)

All the images are owned by their respective authors, I'm willing to give full credit to them if the details of the sources are brought to my notice.

Click on the image to view as slideshow :)