17 June, 2009

Lonely Old Man... (Part 2)

Dear Reader, this post is the remaining half of “Lonely Old Man…”, yes it's the other half of my conversation with the old man.


After a short while, the old man finished crying, he spoke out, “I lived a life full of happiness, I had a beautiful and a very understanding wife and we were blessed with three sons and two daughters”.

“I was a cheerful but disciplined man, a government employee. I gave my children good education and the best comforts of life. I was very proud the day they got into dignified jobs, married and settled happily.”

“In those days, people around us who watched me and my wife play with our cute little grandchildren used to envy our happiness. Many of our relatives, friends and colleagues used to say that I have all the joy in this world and they wished to have lived a life similar to mine.”

Now he looked into my eyes and said, “Boy, all my life was heaven, I never knew then that there is hell waiting for me in my old age, I should have planned my life in a better way”. The old man gave a pause, so I spoke now, “But grandpa, you can still live a life of joy, yes I mean, continue living in the heaven”.

He instantly rejected my idea, “It’s all over son, people see me differently now, I’m just an old piece of scrap, they are eagerly waiting for my death so that they can relieve themselves from the responsibility of feeding and taking care of me. When I was young, I never treated my father or grandfather in this way, I always respected and loved them, I taught my children the same but they never learnt it".

“When my own children become old and face the darkness of four-walled closed rooms with painful health problems and loneliness, that day they will understand what their father went through and how much pain he felt when he was neglected”.

“Six months I live here, yes your friend’s father is my eldest son and six months I live with my middle son whose house is in the outskirts of this same city. My youngest son lives far away in Delhi but I’m too weak now for my age to travel long distances and adjust to live in a new place.”

“My two elder sons feel their aged father as a huge burden for them and they are angry on their youngest brother for living far away, safe and sound without sharing any responsibilities. And my two son-in-laws are worthless, they never respect me and they never allow my daughters or their children to visit me”.

The old man continued, “After my wife died four years ago, I had lost all the hope of my life, she was everything to me and when she was around, all my children gave both of us a lot of respect, but since her death, my sons started quarrelling over my property.”

“Unable to bear the quarrel, I legally distributed all my possessions to my sons. They acted so loving and affectionately in those days that I didn't put aside even a single penny for myself and signed off everything on their names."

"But little did I realize then, that I was doing the biggest mistake of my life”.

“That one big mistake of mine is killing me every day. I repent every minute, every second for giving everything away. Those were all my hard earned assets which I earned in a fair way spending every drop of my sweat wisely."

He concluded the conversation, "After willingly giving away such valuable treasure, even those street dogs would have been more loyal to me than these sons of mine, who carry my blood”.

Would street dogs be more loyal than his own children ?

It is a sign of - a completely broken heart…

16 comments:

Saritha said...

It is really sad that inspite of giving everything his sons are ignoring him,they will realise when they grow old and their kids do the same thing to them.

Just to give 3 meals a day the sons are quarelling inspite of enjoying with what the father has given to them,it is really sad,i wish they realise that they are ignoring him before it is too late.......

Kavita Saharia said...

This kind of people are very smart..they will be smart enough to save enough money for their old age...i wish he was too smart enough.Our older generation is very accommodating and understanding(as per my experiences)..they do understand pressures on new generation and are always willing to support .in some cases its just that parents dont fit into our life-styles anymore.

R. Ramesh said...

u have presented the touching thoughts very well sai...ifnot an engineer u sure will make it as a journalist..reg. the story..i dunnno.i may sound rude..but most of elderly people complain abt their children..why cant lessons be learnt? india doesnot provide social security for elderly..so all people have no choice but to stand on their own foot until the end..difficult choice, but it is better than blaming our own children of ditching us.. look around...there are millions of such elderly blaming their sons..god knows..hope i am not sounding like i am defending unruly children.but there r cases where elderly do not accept youngsters' views

Sai Charan said...

@Varunavi, @Kavita, @Ramesh :

Thanks a million Varunavi Garu, Kavitaji and Ramesh Bhai. After reading all your respective comments - I can only say that I'm blessed to have such a good circle of friends here in blogger.

Hats off to all the three of you for patiently reading this lengthy post.

And my most sincere thanks to all the three of you for taking so much of time frm your busy schedules and writing such useful opinions.

I wrote all the conversation in one sitting but was concerned about the length - so split it into two posts.

I could have easily trimmed it and compressed the content to make it one - but the emotional flavour would have been lost, so just posted the original piece of writing.

Ramesh Bhai, yes I'm a Mechanical Engineer by profession but I have already decided for a change in my career because I love writing. I'm planning for a career in writing.

Cheers,
Charan.

Sandhya said...

I feel very bad and a bit emotional. I read both the posts at a stretch.

Distributing his wealth among the children, is the biggest mistake, he has done. I he had money, he could have gone and stayed in a good old age home, Sai. The children seem to be without any conscience. After taking his property too, if they are ill-treating him, means, they are ruthless.

It is not easy to take care of old people, if they are too ill. If the women of the house are also working, it is too difficult. But if they have taken his money, they can arrange someone to help him. And, the old people (you know my age, I am nearing that stage and this view kind of applies to me too, maybe after a few years!) have to be accommodative. All are humans and not saints. We should understand the younger generation's commitments too. No one has got much leisure time like before. If the old man is happily complaining all the time, they start ignoring him.

I just pray to god that we should be together - me and my husband - till our last breath. The lonely life is unthinkable, Sai, to both husband and wife.

Good post and you are going to be a good son to your parents.

Sandhya said...

Maybe I went overboard. Be careful while discussing this problem with your friend, Sai. Don't get hurt. Did you discuss this with your mother?

The 'super 30' IIT JEE winners' prog. is there in the discovery channel tonight from 8 to 9 pm. Sai. Watch if you are interested.

Lala said...

i dont know what to say... at all.

Sai Charan said...

@Sandhyaji:

First of all, my gratitude to you for patiently reading not one but these two of these lengthy posts at a stretch.

And my thanks are due to you for writing not one but two individual, practical and valuable opinions on the respective posts.

Your comments have in no way gone overboard, in fact the points you shared are quite useful.

Thanks a lot for the concern you have showed for my well-being, you are a kind woman like my mother. Yes, I told everything to my mother and she advised me to help such a lonely soul so that God in turn would help me in my life.

Sandhyaji, I'm a real cool guy; even if bad remarks are passed against me, I always take them in a lighter vein. So for me to get hurt, there should be a reason as big and heavy as a mountain :)

I can manage my friend with ease, he is still on tour and all I could do is after he comes back, I'll make him read these two posts and give him a clear idea of the situation.

I'm sure he will definitely make things better for his grandpa. And whenever I visit my friend's house, I'll make sure that I always sit and have a few words with the old man to lighten up his heart.

Yes, I'm interested to watch the 'super 30' winners prog. so I'll watch it on discovery channel. Thanks for sharing the telecast timings.


Cheers,
Charan.

R. Ramesh said...

career in writing is gr8..but i think u should keep it as an addl activity than full time sai...writing does not pay..i wrote a piece for a famous business mag in delhi 2 months ago,,yet to get payment...it's a very common story..so pursue yr engg and keep writing as your addl...u r a very good guy..hence ths suggestion...god bless u...

How do we know said...

Gosh! This is really sad.. the man should have realised all this and should have written this in a will .. NEVER given away his whole life's poperty.. did this really happen?

Sai Charan said...

@Ramesh :

Bhai, I could never thank you enough for all your valuable suggestions.

Yes, writing is not a fetching career and it is better to be taken only as a part time activity rather than full time. Thanks for sharing your personal example from your recent experience to explain the reality.

Thanks & Cheers,
Charan.

Sai Charan said...

@How do we know :

Hi buddy, welcome to Beyond Barriers... and thanks for writing your opinion on this post.

Yes, I was the person who directly interacted with the old man, it's sad but it happened, it’s true.

On Sunday, 14th June'09 at around 10:30am, I met this old man and I found he was alone in the house as the family left for some tour. He was sitting in the veranda with newspaper by his side.

Well, I spent almost an hour talking with him. I respect the privacy of both my friend and his grandpa so I couldn't mention their names or proof of identity or address.

Yes, it really did happen and if you are interested to meet him then you can approach me buddy, I'll take you to my friend's house where you can meet the "lonely old man" in flesh and blood, you can give him useful suggestions for better living.

Cheers,
Charan.

Sandhya said...

Sai, Ramesh has given you a good advice. Keep writing as a hobby. Freelancing also pays a bit! And you can have the cake and eat it too!

Please be careful while talking to your friend. Every coin has two sides. They might have their own problems.

Do visit the old man often and just hear what he says. He will be happy that somebody is there to give him company.

You are too young now to solve complex problems, Sai. Be happy always.

Onkar said...

You have raised a very important issue in the two pieces- neglect and loneliness that old people suffer in our society. Your story is full of lessons.

Sai Charan said...

@Sandhyaji:

Yes Ramesh Bhai gave a very useful advice to me - I will enjoy writing as a hobby and it will only be my leisure time activity.

Yes, you said it right, I already felt that being in my early twenties I can never fully understand the complexities of problems faced by an eighty year old man.

You show so much concern for me Sandhyaji, you are very kind woman, just like my mother, even she is always worried about everything I do :) Sandhyaji, your children are lucky to have a kind mother like you.

Thanks for your supportive comment :)

Cheers,
Charan.

Sai Charan said...

@Onkarji :

My gratitude for you to have spent your time to read such lengthy posts and then leave a nice encouraging reply :)